So I’ve been on hiatus toying with some topics and focusing on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/thepursuitofhealth). But when I came across this picture posted by one of my favorite Plus Size Fashion blogger and I had to stop and say something.
Please pardon my language…but what the f*ck is wrong with you? (you meaning the person that originally posted this.) From what I’ve read, you yourself are plus size…which is what makes me even more angry. We have a lot of amazing women who are working on the Body Positive Movement and have come a long way. They are working towards separating the idea of healthy and beautiful…if we’re looking at the most basic definition. They are out there working to show us bigger girls that regardless of what our weight and health goals are, that no matter what size you wear or the number you see on the scale…you ARE beautiful. They are telling us to love ourselves NOW. Regardless if you’re on a journey to become healthier or if you’re comfortable in your own skin. And here you are ruining the hard work of women like Tess Munster and Whitney Thor. How dare you not only public ally shame a fellow plus size girl…but how dare you shame another woman based strictly on her appearance? How dare you push the idea that the worth of a woman lies directly within her appearance? And who the hell are you to make the presumption that because she doesn’t look beautiful to YOU that she doesn’t deserve to be loved?
You know the ridiculous idea of racism within the black community where those black men and women who have lighter skin are seen as more attractive than their darker counterparts? This reminds me of that in a sense. A plus size woman spewing hatred to another plus size woman because she’s not wearing the latest fashion, she doesn’t appear to be wearing the glamour makeup or have the glamour hair style. Because we don’t have to deal with the media and others putting us down…we’re finding ways to bulky each other now.
For the longest time I didn’t feel like a “lady” because I was over weight. I couldn’t imagine a man holding a door for me. I wasn’t thin and beautiful…why would he waste his time? I saw myself as less than a woman…less than human because I allowed others to make me see myself in that way. I made it okay for others to make fun of me and project their idea of less than womanly on me…and I accepted it. People who were supposed to be my friends did this to me, and I let them. I was overweight and I deserved it. It wasn’t until college that I left that mindset. I reverted back to that place after I had my boys for a while. Women like Tess and Whitney snapped me out of it. So seeing THIS photo brought out an outrageous level of anger. How dare you? How dare you be a thoughtless and superficial jerk and possibly send this woman into that mindset when she should be nothing but happy. She clearly has someone that loves her. I guarantee he thinks she’s beautiful…because she is. And while I don’t know her personally I would imagine she has a beautiful soul as well.
I suspect you’ll be waiting for that text back for a while. I envision your manicured nails, perfectly done hair, flawless makeup and your shallow minded ideas of other women and who you deem worthy of love, waiting for that guy to show his interest in you. I feel you’ll be waiting for a long time. I can bet you he wants you to style your inner judgments and be less envious and judgmental of those around you.